Can I sob a moment please? *sobs* </3
As a HUGE fan of Nick Jonas (who-ever-dreamed-to-be-his-girlfriend), I cannot contain my emotions when I saw pictures of Nick and his rumored girlfriend kissing, hugging, and doing some sweet actions to each other.
Can you feel me? My heart feels like broken and shattered into million pieces. My heart feels like being stabbed by a sharp knife everytime I see those pictures of them on the internet. My heart is bleeding deep inside. I cannot take this. This is the most unhealthy Jonas news for me. :'(
I know I should be happy for Nick because he's not alone now, and he seems happy with her. But I cannot deny myself that it hurts me so bad. I just cannot tell the world that "Hey, I'm so happy for Nick. Can you see? I'm so happy!" but deep inside I AM NOT and I just can't fake it to tell them like that.... or maybe not right now... maybe when my heart healed by time.
I know you may think that I'm crazy (hell yeah, I'm crazy for him) that I am reacting like that. You might think that I have this crazy mind and have these wildest dreams that I can be his girlfriend someday. But hey, as a fan I cannot avoid that. And I am pretty sure that I am not alone. I am absolutely sure that hundreds or thousands or millions of fangirls out there who felt the same way as I do. Trust me, I know somebody who felt the same way, and we just became buddies after our heartbreaking conversations bout our heartbreaking situation with Nick hot Jonas, oh well, this is insane.
Olivia Culpo (his girlfriend) is such a lucky girl who captured Nick's heart. But in the other hand, Nick is also lucky to have her. Hellooooo, she was crowned as the MISS UNIVERSE 2012 and she's so stunningly beautiful. They are lucky to each other. They fit perfectly and I heard, they both have passion when it comes to music. And I like her better than the other older woman who used to date Nick before. No Nick, not for older woman okay? No. So okay, Olivia is better.... maybe the best?
I don't hate Olivia for dating Nick. I am not a hater. I am just jealous of her because she now have the man I love. I just hope that they are happy for each other. I just want Nick to be happy. And how I wish that I was Olivia. She's so lucky!
But even I like the NILIVA couple, my lonely heart can't still move on over the fact that Nick is no longer single. I have no chances anymore. Never in my wildest dream. Well I'm trying to accept it, trying to move on, trying to get Nick Jonas out of my head, I'm trying and keep on trying.... and I hope I succeed.
And now, as for the process of moving on, I am having this twitter break (lol). I haven't been online on twitter these days just to avoid those Nilivia sweet new photos which totally breaks my heart everytime. I'm doing this for good, I'm so tired of heartaches anymore. No. Just no.
It's confirmed but I love the fact that her sister is a Jonas Fan. I guess, she also feels the same way like I do. But lucky for her because Olivia is her sister, she (her sister) can be with him someday.... or he might be her brother-in-law in the future? Aww.
*sobbing* :'((((
Wanna sob with me? If you feel me, come on, let's go to the corner and sob together. :'(
I'm sorry if this blog post is sooo dramatic. It's the only way for me to speak out of what I feel. And if you are still reading up to here, congrats. Lol. Joke. I don't even know if someone is reading my blogs.
Anyway, I'll just be happy for him (even it hurts) and just support them on their music, most especially their upcoming album this September. Well, this is what a fan should do - is to support them, right?
And speaking of their music, I can't wait for V album!!! September is the meaning of SOON! Finally! I'm so excited! How bout you??
Anyway, I made an acapella cover of their song Neon. I love that song very much. If you wanna hear my crappy cover (lol) click here.
P. S. my singing voice is not as good as Nick so yeah, I'm sorry if I break your eardrum. :P
BYE.
Peace. Love. Jonas
©LeanMiles
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